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Continuing Education in Your Love Life
When we first start falling in love with someone, whether we realize it or not, we become a student of that person. You try to learn as much as you can about that person, you memorize the way they look, smell, talk, and act. Becoming an expert on that certain someone becomes a priority and its intoxicatingly fun. At some point you start to feel like you know that person like the back of your hand. You know all there is to know and its a comfortable place to be. As soon as we stop becoming a student of our relationships that is when the trap is set.
We are quick to admit that we are not the person we were yesterday and we will inevitably be different tomorrow but we expect everyone around us to stay the same. Our tastes change, we grow, we learn and continue to evolve into a new self. So why is it so hard to think that the person we met oh so many years ago wouldn’t be the same?
Here is where I admit that I have continued to be student of the human condition but haven’t been a diligent student of my husband. I have a thousand excuses why this is; work, children, responsibilities, life, etc but it all boils down to the fact that I just thought I knew everything about him already. Stupid and arrogant on my part (I know) but I’m being honest here.
If you are like me and if you are ready to begin your continuing education but have forgotten how to be a student of your relationship here are a few pointers that helped me re-learn how to be a student of my love.
- Start asking questions. Find a quiet moment when you are both relaxed and ask the kind of things you would have asked in the beginning of your relationship. Keeping the questions lite and fun will make the process more enjoyable for both of you. ie What were you like as a kid? Who was your best friend? What kind of trouble did you get into? Who was your first kiss? **This isn’t a game of jeopardy so don’t get carried away with asking questions. The purpose to get reacquainted, to remember what attracted you to this person in the first place and have a conversation about each other, with each other.
- Try this worksheet http://static.oprah.com/pdf/lybl_sexlife_foreplaymap.pdf. I’ll be honest, I found this a bit embarrassing and there was a lot of laughter involved however if you are interested in working toward your masters degree with your love this is a great way to continue your education. This worksheet and instructions provided by Dr. Laura Berman is very well done and if you are willing to let your inhibitions down it can make a huge difference in your love life.
I definitely find this topic a little out of my comfort zone but after talking with several of my close friends I felt compelled to share. I don’t mind having my failures be a source of your education. I guess its just my way of contributing and sharing the love.
This I Believe. A Story of Hope for ALL of Us.
What is love and why do we believe in it even though we can touch it, taste it or even smell it? It is the most precious resource we have and yet it can’t be bought or sold. As humans we instinctively know love when we see it, hear it and feel it. We know what it is because it is apart of our DNA, we were designed to give and receive love. Regardless of your beliefs or background we all can acknowledge that love is something greater than ourselves. God is the source of love and when we are in the presence of love we are also in the presence of God. This I believe, this I know to be true.
Those of you who know me, know that I am a believer. I’m not big into proselytizing but I do like sharing a conversation about my love for the Lord with those who choose to ask or bring it up in conversation. I have a relationship with God, I speak with Him daily and I try to quiet myself to hear Him. My daily prayer is to do His will and be His servant. I fail in a lot of ways, I fall short, but God knows my heart and I try to do better. He loves us, despite our mistakes and gives us hope for something more wonderful than we could imagine. I think that is why when I heard the story about Coach Kris Hogan “A Game of Hope” I cried. Here is a group of kids, incarcerated for doing terrible things and yet Coach Hogan and his school chose to show them love and give them hope.
Here are a few video clips and an article about this story:
A Game of Hope http://www.nbcdfw.com/sports/football/A_Game_of_Hope_Dallas-Fort_Worth.html
Rooting For The Opposition http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=3869868
Life of Reilly “There are some games in which cheering for the other side feels better than winning.” http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373
As you can imagine this story touch a lot of people and Coach Kris Hogan was inundated with emails and phone calls. One email from a reporter from “This American Life”, in particular touched his heart and his story was quickly picked up by National Public Radio with a segment on This American Life called “This I used to believe”.
Here is that radio program:
This American Life “This I Used To Believe”
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=378
After hearing that story I was so moved that I wrote an email to Coach Hogan.
Here is an excerpt of my email:
“I’m certain you’ve received more email that you could possible read or respond too but I still felt compelled to write to you and let you know what your seemingly small Christ inspired act of hope has grown into something much larger that only God could have designed.
I actually just heard of your beautiful and inspiring story about giving hope to that boys football team that everyone but God had given up on. That story alone brought tears to my eyes because I could feel Gods presence in that moment. What was more amazing to me was that National Public Radio “This American Life” picked up your story as well, as part of their “this I used to believe” segment (God works in amazing ways). More specifically the tiny seed you planted was growing inside Trisha Sebastian that had seemingly lost her faith. I could tell that both of you were a little frustrated. She wanted some answers from you that would explain the death of her friend. AND you, you knew God wanted to work through you in her.
You did a beautiful job executing His will and I want you to know that you did it complete and according to His will. Don’t think for a moment that you failed because she didn’t believe after the time you spent with her. You planted a seed in her (I could feel the Holy Spirit working in her) and more importantly you also planted a seed to all of those listeners that were without hope.
I enjoy listening to the stories on “This American Life” but I do realize that it is a very liberal publication and they pride themselves on being agnostic and even make fun of Christian beliefs. I find so much comfort and joy that God used you and your testimony to witness to millions of unbelievers. There is so much hopelessness and despair in today’s world; my heart is heavy for those who don’t have hope in Him. Through you God brought light where there was none and I thank you for being his vessel.”
I was having a pretty tough day when I received an email from Kris asking to have a phone conversation with me. (God knows what we need, when we need it!) I’m still not sure what God’s purpose is for me in all of this is but I do know that I have to share this story. Our country and the world is suffering in many ways. There are so many people that are hurting, that are hopeless, and need to know they are loved despite their failures. We can all have that hope, that love, its free and unconditional. This I Believe, this I know to be true.