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Beauty Secrets from my Mother-n-law‘s Vault
My mother-n-law was a great woman but she was also crazy. I have a treasure trove of real life stories that she is the main character and if I didn’t live through them I wouldn’t believe them to be true. At times I found her very frustrating but now 3 years since she has passed I find her idiosyncrasy’s hilarious and I look forward to the opportunity to tell my children about their grandma.
In addition to being a little crazy she was also vain and would do and say outrageous things on behalf of beauty. I thought I’d share a few of these beauty secrets with you and let you decide if these tips are more than just entertainment.
Preparation-H naught just for hemorrhoids – My mother-n-law would buy an industrial size container of the stuff so that she could slather it all over her face. Apparently it tightens your face up and diminishes wrinkles.
Staying fat makes your wrinkles smooth - She told me once that she was glad that she was fatter than her sister because having a fat face smoothes out wrinkles.
Grease your face and neck with Vaseline and perfume – At all times her face was properly lubricated with Vaseline (or something like it) and perfume. Every time she gave you one of her famous bear hugs you would walk away smelling like cheap perfume and have a generous grease mark across your face and clothes.
Gold lame is very slimming – For our wedding she wore a floor length gold lame dress because according to her it was “very slimming”. I have to admit, it did look slimming.
Colored reading glasses highlight your eyes without the use of makeup – My mother-n-law had the most beautiful blue eyes but she would wear colored glasses (instead of clear) because she thought colored reading glasses enabled you to forgo putting on makeup.