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Who Knew.
My 18 month old was choking on his milk this morning so I gently patted his back until his choking fit was over. I asked him if he was alright and he looked at me and said “yesh”. A few minutes later he was in the living room choking once again on the milk from his sippie cup. This time he took his own hand, patted his butt until he was done coughing. He shook his head, proclaimed “yesh” to the world and went about his business.
Who knew that patting your butt was just as affective as your back when choking.
A Day In The Life.
“Mommy I have to go poop.”
“Can you hold it until we get to Wendy’s?”
“No, I have to go right now. Please you find a toilet so I can go? Or maybe I just go in the feild?” Ben? this must happen a lot…
“Babe, there are no fields right here….Ok, mommy will hurry and find you a bathroom.”
All I see is a Schucks and a Sonic….do Sonics even have bathrooms inside I ask myself? Ok, Shucks it is…Hurry and do a u-turn, pass a cop…surely he’ll understand if he pulls me over.
Make it to the parking lot.
“Mommy I have to go RIGHT NOW.”
Do I take all three? Do I just ‘run in’ with Gage and Stella…Lola is sleeping in her car seat…she’ll be OK…the windows are tinted…nobody will take her…she’s warm, fed. Lock the doors.
Ok, run in with Gage and Stella. We get to the entrance, my brain takes over and I have to go get Lola. Can’t leave her in the truck.
“OK Gage, wait here I’m just going to grab Lola….just hold it one more second.”
Grab Lola, get back to the door.
“Mommy I went in my pants. I went a lot,” he cries as he tries to take down his pants and underware.
Go inside…nobody is paying any attention to me and my three under four.
“Do you have a bathroom?” I ask to anyone listening. No response. “Do you have a bathroom?” I yell. This time everyone looks.
“Down the hall to the left,” a woman says with no expression. She has no motherly instinct to sense my urgency. Perhaps why she’s working at Schucks….
Wow. We get to the bathroom. I’d rather he go in his pants than touch that toilet. Poop everywhere…how are they not shut down? This is rediculous. Wipe his little butt, get the big chunks…put some toilet paper in his underware so he doesn’t have to feel the rest.
“Ok babes, we’ll go home and clean you up.”
“Ok mommy,” he says as he waddles out..walking small slowww steps trying not to smear the cream. Poor little guy..taking it like a champ.
As we’re driving home through the construction…concrete barriers on both sides.
“Mommy I have to go poop again,” he says in a pathetic little whine.
“Honey there is no place to pull over. You can go in your pants, it’s ok…you’re sick and it’s ok to go.”
“Ok mommy…” Various noises, grunts, whines, saddd little whimpers later. It begins to really stink in the truck.
When did Lola start screaming? I was having so much fun I never noticed. I notice now. I notice the entire way home…I notice when I stop at Chevron to run in and get him some gatorade…Stella notices too. “Wowa qwiet! Wowa stop!”
You tell her Stell, she’ll listen to you.
FINALLY in the door to the bathtub. Poo everywhere. Lola still crying…stick her in her swing…she ate two hours ago, she’ll survive. Prioritize the needs. Gage, Stella, Lola..that’s the order for the moment. Clean up the little guy…throw out the underware, no way we’re going to try and salvage those. Ok, everyone in clean clothes, change Stella, clean diapers. Downstairs for some quick lunch before naps. Cup o soup. Perfect. . . boil water and pump at the same time…Lola continues to scream….Pour boiling water into cup o soup. How could they BOTH have holes in the bottom?
Leaking all over..boiling water, screaming baby…Barney is TOO LOUD. “Gage, turn the TV DOWN!”…..
Go to hell Trace Atkins.
-Megan from Idaho
Response From Senator Larry Craig on Bill 1738
Dear Mrs. D’Ambrosio,
Thank you for contacting me about S.1738, the Combating Child Exploitation Act. I appreciated hearing from you and welcome the opportunity to respond.
I share your concerns regarding child exploitation in the United States. This crime is unconscionable and devastating - not only to child victims and their families but to entire communities. Therefore, I have supported efforts in Congress to help law enforcement agencies root out, investigate, and prosecute offenders to the fullest extent possible.
S.1738, the Combating Child Exploitation Act, contains provisions to further these goals by establishing a national strategy against child exploitation and increasing federal resources available to local law enforcement for combating this problem. The bill was made part of a comprehensive child protection legislative package in the Senate; it was combined with provisions of H.R.3791, the Securing Adolescents from Exploitation-Online (SAFE) Act, which would expand the requirements for electronic service providers to report on-line child pornography. In addition, the SAFE Act complements S. 1738 by closing loopholes that hinder efforts to identify and collect valuable information about suspected sex offenders.
I joined a unanimous Senate in voting to pass this package on September 25. Two days later, it passed the U.S. House of Representatives, and it is now awaiting presidential approval. This legislation is expected to become law very soon.
Response from my Senator on Bill 1738, the Combating Child Exploitation Act
CALL TO ACTION – Help Pass Bill 1738 “The PROTECT Our Children Act”
You may be interested to know that the support you and others expressed for S.1738 was a factor in overcoming the partisan gridlock that had threatened to stop its progress through the legislative process. I hope you will continue to share your views on pending issues and bills with the Idaho Congressional Delegation in the future.
Response from my Senator on Bill 1738, the Combating Child Exploitation Act
Dear Angela:
Thank you for contacting me to express your support for S. 1738, the Combating Child Exploitation Act. I appreciate hearing your thoughts and welcome the opportunity to respond.
As you may know, this legislation was introduced by Senator Joe Biden (D-Delaware) on June 28, 2007. This bill would establish a Special Counsel for Child Exploitation Prevention and Interdiction within the Office of the Deputy Attorney General, improve the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force, increase resources for regional computer forensic labs, and make other improvements to increase the ability of law enforcement agencies to investigate and prosecute child predators. This legislation was approved by the Senate Judiciary Committee and awaits further action before the full Senate.
Sexual exploitation of children is an abhorrent practice that will not be tolerated, and I have long
been a leader of efforts to combat violence against children in all forms. As a member of the Senate Missing and Exploited Children’s Caucus, please rest assured that I will continue to be an aggressive supporter of protecting our children and prosecuting predators to the maximum extent possible under the law.
Again, thank you for contacting me. Please feel free to contact me in the future on this or other matters of interest to you. For more information about the issues before the U.S. Senate as well as news releases, photos, and other items of interest, please visit my Senate website, http://crapo.senate.gov.
Sincerely,
Mike Crapo
United States Senator
Skid Marks and the Advanced Skill of Wiping
Skid marks, racing stripes, whatever you choose to call them they are nasty. My daughter has been completely potty trained for 2 years now but she has yet to master the skill of wiping. Because she doesn’t wipe very well she ends up with horrendous skid marks on her panties and usually a rash on her bottom. It has gotten to the point that we have to send her to school with an extra pair of panties just to mitigate the problem and when I put her into the bath at night there will be shit-chips floating in the tub. Yuck!
I thought I might be the only parent plagued with this problem but after talking with my girlfriend and her husband this weekend I was relieved to find out that their 4 year old son has the same problem. Of course, these skids aren’t only found in our children’s underwear. Sometime when they are putting their underwear they choose to sit on the floor or bed and that is also where you can find the unmistakable brown streak. As a parent I think I find my daughters skids more embarrassing than she does.
I admit that wiping with toilet paper does come with a higher degree of difficultly. I even know adults that have trouble with toilet paper (you know who you are). Maybe the Europeans have it right with the bidet. I’m sure a quick shower of the crack would do the trick but I’m sure that comes with other obstacles. So, the question is what can you do? Well, I’ve asked around and have done a little research and here are a few things to try if your child is wiping handicap.
1. Flushable baby wipes – These seem to be a little easier for kids to manipulate and gets the area clean with less effort.
2. Adult inspection – Have mom, dad, or the adult on duty inspect for a clean crack. If it’s not clean, give a lesson on how you should wipe until the toilet paper is clean.
3. Mirror – keep a mirror in the bathroom so your child can check to see if they did a good job.
4. Positive reinforcement - Reward your child every day they have clean undies.
For more articles on my trials and tribulations with poop:
5 Tips to Relieve Baby’s Gas
My Son Found His Wiener
This Bud’s For You
Today is my handsome and talented husband’s 38th birthday and every year for the last nine years I have given him the same gift. Matter of fact, it is the same gift I give him for Valentines Day, Father’s Day and Christmas, BEER! He absolutely loves it and gets very excited when a holiday comes around because he loves getting his special beers. Of course, he loves all beers from the watered down versions that we drank in college to the Belgian Trappist Ale. For his birthday I got him a selection of the 1 pint Belgian’s with a mix of porter’s and stouts from around the world. These beers cost $8-$10 a bottle (1 pint, 9.4 Fl. Oz.) but with 7-10% alcohol one bottle will do.
If you are looking for a special gift for the beer loving man or woman in your life I would suggest putting together a selection of special beers. I like to place the beers in a basket with a few additional goodies like CD’s, balloons, beer glasses, fishing gear, etc. but you can customize your basket with your sweeties favorites. I promise, if you deliver this basket of love to your significant other it will be a huge hit!
Does sex matter? Conceiving a boy or girl
Why does sex really matter? Its something we all do when we first find out we are pregnant. We start imagining visions of pink or playing ball with our son. Outwardly we just say “we want a healthy baby” but deep down we do have a preference. We have a daughter and a son so since I am pregnant with our third and final baby you would think preference would not play into our thoughts and yet it still does.
My brother got himself in trouble recently when he proclaimed to the world that his 3rd child is going to be a boy. He made it clear that a girl wasn’t an option and in fact his wife didn’t even need to call and tell him what the results of the ultrasound was because he was 100% sure that it was a boy. It was as if he was daring God to deny him a second son and we all know what happens when you do that. IT’S A GIRL!
I am a planner; I love to think I have control in my life by setting aside a plan. We planned our first born; a girl. Then we decided to plan a second. Since we had a girl we decided to try for a boy. I did some research and found several good articles and suggestions. The information provided was so scientific and since there really wasn’t any down side to “trying” we followed the Shettles Method. Nine months later we gave birth to our son. Do I believe that this method really works? I believe you have a 50/50 shot at a boy or a girl and we would be silly to believe we have any control over this miracle than faith alone. I do believe there is a plan; we just aren’t the one’s doing the planning.
Basically, men produce two types of sperms, the X (female) and Y (male). According to Dr. Shettles‘ studies the y-sperms are smaller, weaker, but faster than their siblings x-sperms, which are bigger, stronger, but slower. Based on this fact, there are several things you can do to “favor” the conception of boys or girls:
(1) The most important aspect of all is timing of intercourse during the monthly cycle. The closer to ovulation you have sex, the better the chances to have a boy, because the y-sperms are faster and tend to get to the egg first. If you have sex 3 days or more before ovulation, the better your chances to conceive a girl, because the weaker y-sperms tend to die sooner and the x-sperms will be available in greater quantity whenever the egg is released. On the other hand, having sex from 2 days before ovulation, through a few days after ovulation, is better for conceiving a boy. Around the 2-day point — 48 hours before ovulation — seems to be the 50/50 mark.
(2) The pH of the women’s tract is also very important. A more acidic environment favors girls, since it will kill the weaker y-sperms first, leaving a greater quantity of x-sperms available to fertilize the egg. On the other hand, a more alkaline environment favors boys.
· Diet high in potassium and sodium for a boy.
· Diet high in calcium and magnesium for a girl.
Note: Some women are naturally very acidic and have a hard time conceiving boys.
(3) Position of intercourse and depth of penetration are important, partly because of pH. The closer to the entrance to the vagina, the more acidic the women’s tract is. Also, deep penetration places the sperm closer to the egg, and gives those aggressive boy sperms a head start :-). So, a shallow penetration will favor girls and a deeper will favor boys. Shettles recommends missionary-position for a girl, and rear-entry (dog-style) for a boy.
(4) Women’s orgasms can also be important. It also has to do with pH. When a woman has an orgasm, the body releases some kind of substance that makes the environment more alkaline, favoring boys. He recommends no orgasms when trying for girls!
(5) The sperm count is another factor. Obviously, a low sperm count to begin with doesn’t favor either sex. But a high sperm count favors boys. Shettles recommends three things:
(a) When trying for a boy, don’t have sex for 3- 4 days before you reach the target date a day or two before ovulation! For girls, have sex everyday from day=1 or day=5 (”cleaner” :-)), and stop 3 days before ovulation.
(b) Shettles recommends that for boys, the man wear loose underwear only — that is, men who usually wear briefs or other tight underwear should switch to boxers. The idea is the same as wearing boxers to increase overall fertility — the testicles need cooler temperatures for sperms to survive, and the Y-sperms, since they are weaker, will be helped more than the X-sperms by this method. However, Shettles does NOT recommend the opposite, that men wear briefs for a girl — this will just decrease overall fertility.
(c) Also, for a girl, the man is supposed to take a hot bath immediately before intercourse. “Room temperature” is fine for a boy. The idea is the same as the briefs versus boxers — give the X- sperms an advantage.
(6) Finally, in trying for a boy, Shettles recommends a nice cup of caffeinated coffee for the man, right before sex — he isn’t clear on how or why this works, but apparently it gives the Y-sperms a jolt!
Will it Be a Boy or a Girl? Predicting and Influencing Gender
http://www.ovulation-calculator.com/pregnancy/gender-prediction.htm
Tried, But Not Always True - Methods to Choose Baby’s Sex Range From
New Tech to Old Ideas
http://www.abcnews.go.com/sections/scitech/Living/gender_selection_methods_040419.html
Does the Shettles Method Really Work?
http://preconception.com/resources/articles/choosep2.htm
http://preconception.com/resources/articles/truth.htm
Ovulation Calendar
http://www.ovulation-calendar.com/
Fertility Calculator:
http://www.planbaby.com/fertilitycalculator.html
Boy or girl? 38 fun ways to guess your baby’s sex
http://www.parentsplace.com/pregnancy/getready/articles/0,,239007_432032,00.html
More Old Wives Tales and Folklore:
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/preconception/gettingpregnant/7061.html
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